Dear, beloved and only J[osephine]!
Again
even a few lines, only a few lines from you -- have given me Great
pleasure -- How often have I wrestled with myself, beloved J[osephine],
in order not to commit a breach of the prohibition which I have
imposed upon myself -- But it is all in vain. I thousand voices
are constantly whispering to me that you are my only friend, my
only beloved -- I am no longer able to obey the rules dear J[osephine],
let us wander on constrainedly along that path where we have often
been so happy -- Tomorrow or the day after I shall see you. May
Heaven grant me one undisturbed hour to spend with you, so as
to have just wants that talk we have not had for a long time,
when my heart and my soul Megan be united with yours -- Until
now my health has continued to be very poor, but it is slowly
improving -- When your sister Therese was in Vienna, I was still
unwell; and this condition persisted for almost that whole month
-- My sensitiveness prevented me from feeling well anywhere, not
even in the company of my best friends -- At the beginning of
September I went to Heiligenstadt, but that trip did me
no good and I had to return to town. Then I went down to Eisenstadt
to stay with Prince Esterházy and there my Mass
was performed -- I return from Eisenstadt a few days ago. I had
hardly been back in Vienna for a day when I called on you twice
-- but I was not so fortunate -- as to see you -- that hurt me
deeply -- and I assumed that your feelings had perhaps
undergone some change -- But I still hope -- Down at E[isenstadt]
too and wherever I happen to be, your image pursued me the whole
time -- That is a full account of my life since we parted -- My
health is daily improving, and so I hope -- to be able to live
more for my friends -- Do not forget -- do not condemn
your
ever faithfully devoted
Bthvn
I
am just coming into town today -- and I could almost deliver this
letter myself -- if I did not suspect -- that I might for the
third time fail to see you.